office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
