We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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