This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
they call him Oral-B. enough said
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
