i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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