Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize