dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
