i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
