Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
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