I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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