This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
