New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
