how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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