i will never coherently bang her
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
