Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
