he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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