I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I just found puke in my bra..
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
