you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
