i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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