Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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