we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
