margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
She bit a glass in half.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize