Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
