i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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