I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
