Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
