Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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