I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
