Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
There are leaves in my underwear?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize