3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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