God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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