Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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