As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
