I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
