but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
