The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I think people are normalizing furries
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
