We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
