im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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