there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
