i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
