Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
It was confusing and full of hummus
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize