Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
