your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
