**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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