you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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