Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
