Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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