Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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