he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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