Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
