he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
