i will never coherently bang her
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
