Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
