New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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