I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize