Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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