I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
