I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
