I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I AM VODKA MAN
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
