All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Randomize
