so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
