you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
