i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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